When I first became aware that I was living my life on survival mode, a lot of my experiences started making sense to me.

I spent years of my life living in a state that felt like I was always "running". I found it difficult to rest, take breaks, or kick back and relax.

My mind was always occupied with something. I was always doing something.

I could only experience a short-lived sense of relief after I worked 12 hour days. If not, then my mind would not shut off.

In the beginning, I didn't mind it much. The restlessness & anxiety served to propel me towards my goals.

I t made me disciplined & hardworking. Peformance was effortless. The hardest thing to do was to sit still.

After a while, I became aware of the consequences of living in survival mode & I knew I needed to change.

Truth was...

Despite working hard towards my goals.

Despite making money & hitting milestones.

I could never enjoy what I accomplished.

I could never stop to smell the flowers.

I could never slow down.

Burnout was always around the corner.

I built a life that felt like a battle every single day. A life that felt like I was hanging by a rope with one hand. Afraid to let go & fall into the abyss.

But the more I held on, the more painful it got.

I remember moving to Bali to start a new chapter. Thinking things were going to be any different.

Yet for 1 year straight, I would get out of bed with weight on my chest. Tears in my eyes. Stare myself down in the mirror. Slap my face a few times. And tell myself "it's time to go soldier".

I made progress.

I hit milestones.

I hit PRs at the gym.

I faced my fears.

But all that progress did not matter. It made no difference.

I burnt out.

The Problem With Living in Survival Mode

Living in survival mode is like being on the battlefield. Everyday life feels like war. You yearn for relief, but you know you can't stop.

• Difficult to Rest

• Always waiting for the next moment (anxious & restless)

• Overactive nervous system

• Inability to enjoy the moment

• Losing the spark & becoming nihilistic (life loses all meaning)

But the worst thing is (which most people are not aware of):

• Capping yourself into a negative paradigm of being.

This acts as a ceiling to your success in all areas of life. Because you're motivated by pain (which is very strong), you keep yourself stuck in a cycle of pain.

Quite interesting if you ask me.

Escaping this paradigm (turning off survival mode) removes the cap on the ceiling. It opens you up to new possibilities & paradigms you didn't have access to before.

You breakthrough self-imposed ceilings and limits.

Fear of Drowning:

When I first realized that I needed to turn off survival mode & shift paradigms, I was bombarded by "what ifs?".

My mind told me:

• What if you're copping out?

• What if you're doing this as a form of self-sabotage?

• What if you're quitting?

• What if you're not man enough & this is your way of taking the easy road?

And at the time, all those were very valid arguments.

Maybe I needed to hustle my way through this.

Maybe I had to push my way through this.

It had worked before; so why not now?

Here's why.

These arguments the brain comes up with are due to the fear of death.

In last week's newsletter about "How to Be a Man", I spoke about the Ship Analogy.

Imagine you're on a ship with crew members. You hit some debris & a hole in the ship is formed.

Quickly, you all run to grab buckets & empty the water back into the ocean. But you don't see that there's a hole in the ship.

If the hole is not fixed, you'll have to keep using the buckets your entire life...or else you die. (Survival Mode).

Now let's look at things this way:

If you become aware of the hole (that you're living in survival mode), then decide to tend to the hole & fix it, here's what will happen.

1. You will be in a lot of fear of taking this risk

2. Other crew members who do not see the hole will try to keep you stuck on the buckets (they're afraid of death) .

Number 2 is the equivalent of your mind & other men stuck in survival mode.

They are not "bad" for keeping you stuck, they're just afraid of drowning.

You stopping survival mode & tending to the hole means confronting the unknown. It means confronting death.

See...

If you felt like you could stop being in survival mode & stay alive...you would've stopped a long time ago.

Point is — There will be resistance. There will be doubt. There will be fear. Expect it. Embrace it.

Survival -> Thriving Mode

Before we go into what to do to turn off survival mode & step into a new mode of being, consider this.

The thing that'll keep you stuck in survival mode is believing that you'll "die" if you stop.

That is false & it is only an illusion. This must be understood.

1. As a man, it is very important to break down illusions and confront your fears as that is what will develop your character.

2. Worst case scenario is you break the illusion, test out a different mode of being, hate it. Then you go back to survival mode.

The worst case scenario of giving this a shot is not even "bad". So do it.

The only obstacle is your own mind making this bigger than it should – like mine did.

And in my experience, the benefit outweighs the risk.

Slow Down:

The basic premise for your practice is to slow down. Restlessness keeps you in a cycle of running.

You create goals to give yourself the illusion that you're running towards something. The truth is — you're running from something.

You want to consciously intervene into the process of:

Restlessness arises -> Feel the need to "run" -> Start Running

Through awareness, you intervene right as restlessness arises. You recognize the restlessness & instead of trying to avoid it by running; you relax into it.

You feel the impulse to rush. The restlessness....and what do you do?

You relax into it.

Despite the mind urging you to do otherwise. Despite its attempts to manipulate you.

You relax into it. Unfazed.

You take back control.

Here's what I'm doing to expand this more:

1. Keeping my awareness on my mental & physical state

2. Consciously relaxing my mind & body throughout the day (and whenever I feel restlessness arising)

3. Slowin Down (my walk, talk, movements, actions) – slowing down forces me to remain conscious.

Take a moment right now to slow down. Slow down your breathing. Slow down your movement. Slow down your mind. Notice how you're more aware? Relax.

1. Meditating – TWIM

2. Retraining my Mind

Due to living in survival mode for so long, your mind is conditioned to always be occupied. That is the "default" mode of being. It says "if you slow down, you're being unproductive".

Ask yourself – "Why is this wrong?". "Why is slowing down being more productive?"

Your mind will want to keep you tossing buckets of water back into the ocean because it is afraid of what might happen if you stopped. Once you become aware of the hole, it’ll stop holding you back.

Keep affirming to yourself the importance of this step & have conversations with your mind asking it to assist you in this paradigm shift. This is a form of shadow work. (if you'd like me to expand on this, let me know).

Value & respect yourself enough to commit to this. You deserve a life that doesn't feel like a battle 24/7. You deserve to get your needs met. Self-respect does not mean hustling your way to death.

And remember this, the world is your mirror.

If you believe life is war & that's the only way to succeed, that's what you'll experience.

If you're not valuing yourself, people will not value you.

The opposite is true.

Do with this information as you will.

I hope this helps you out.

Omar.